Fitness, Expenditures, and others

17 November 2021

I REALLY want to start exercising. Specifically lifting weights. If you visited the links page on my site, you'll see a guide to fitness for beginners there. I want to start using the techniques described in that and start my fitness journey by primarily lifting weights. I feel as if I am 80% educated on what I need to do. I've picked a program that I would like to try, I've understood a lot of nutrition basics, and I've learned proper gym etiquette and stuff. All I need to do is put it into practice.

Problem is, I don't know where to start.

As of right now, I have no income. So I can't really go gymming at the moment, especially since they're expensive. I'm praying to the gods that I will get a summer job soon so I can finally start earning some money and save up for a gym membership. Building a home gym is impractical - there is no space in my house, much less my room. My garage is so full that there is no room to swing a cat in, and it is not realistic to place a power rack in the living room, especially since there's already a treadmill there. So to the gym I will go - but not just yet.

You see, my future university has a gym/recreation facility. But unlike other universities in the country, it is not free. (WHY???). A yearly membership works out much cheaper than a weekly membership. The yearly membership is an upfront cost of $209. So if I get a summer job, I can save up for this.

Problem is, I want to buy other things too. There's the turntable I so desperately need, which I am willing to spend $500 max on. I would also like to pay for a haircut that will chop my hair to shoulder length. I'm not sure how much that will cost, but seeing as girls get charged more for hair than men, I might budget around $100 for that. Let's factor in textbooks as well - I haven't gotten a list yet, but let's estimate $300 to be extremely conservative. That's $1109 I need to save until next year.

Alright, so I feel that the gym membership and the textbooks take priority, so I'll save for those first. Then I'll save for the haircut, since that's easy, and then buy my turntable. Why does money have to fuck everything up?

How long this will take is anyone's guess, and this all above is assuming I will get a summer job. I'm almost definitely making the minimum wage of $20 (which let's be honest - due to inflation, this is worth shit all) and my hours will be part time - 20 hours a week max, I assume. Let's say, also, that I work six weeks - from mid-December to January. That's $2400. If I end up spending everything I laid out above, that works out to be $1291 saved. By my standards, that really isn't much. I guess I can reclaim all of that by working a permanent job while studying. But god I love money so much and I hate to part with it. I just want to hog it ;-;

In other news. Apparently my parents aren't happy with my grades this year. I never tell them my grades for anything, but they still have access to them. I've seen parents who analyse their kid's grades like it's the fucking stock market, so I'm glad they don't do that. It's just that I've struggled a lot in terms of my studying this year and I don't really have any motivation to get a grade higher than a bare pass. I've failed only one exam this year (the first fail in my entire time at high school, may I add) and it doesn't really add up to much in the long run. I can kiss certificate endorsement good-bye - it's not like my interviewers are going to look at my high school results anyway. Certificate endorsements are well and truly overrated - they only matter if you want scholarships.

Well. I don't have anything to say to my parents other than please lower your expectations. I'm not the kid who always gets the top grades in school anymore. Stop deluding yourself. My natural intellect has hit its limit. I actually have to put my mind to it and study now, and I don't have the techniques to do so. Maybe if the school taught me techniques I would be able to get higher grades, but I have to rely on Youtubers who know what they're talking about. And even then, I feel like I'm too far gone, because in two weeks I have my first exam, and the week after I have two, and I feel so lost. I know I cannot ace every paper. I just need to pass. I just want someone to tell me that getting a pass is good enough and that I don't have to aim for the stars every time I sit down and take a paper. I want to be good enough to someone.

I want to be good enough for me.