Love and experiments

7th November 2021

My previous blogpost described my yearning for someone. Well, that's all been solved. We are still friends, but I do not have the same yearning for him that I did before. Realistically, I will never be able to have him, and I'm coming to terms with that.

This kind of thing has actually happened before. The difference between then and now is communication. The first guy I fell madly in love with, he was quite passive to my admissions of love and yearning. He never really made any firm rejections, just saying "Oh, I don't want to e-date you" and stuff like that. But my dumbass ignored it and I kept pestering him. God, I'm trying to forget this, so sorry if it doesn't make sense, or if details are sparse. But eventually, I blocked him because I knew his presence was detrimental. It was like he didn't even want to be friends with me anymore. It all boiled down to the fact that we didn't communicate, I think.

Whereas with the man I love now (or used to love), I talked out my feelings with him and he responded in a calm and assertive matter. He made me think rationally about what was going on but still showed me support. We came to a solution and that was that. I think maybe he is holding some negative feelings (I've noticed he gets mad often nowadays), but I really hope it goes away. We're still friends. We're just not talking in the same mannerisms as we used to.

I really fall in love quickly, don't I. Everytime I have a heart-to-heart conversation with a man, or flirt with him, I start jumping to love. Fucking hell.

In other news. I read a blog post (or rather, an article) about something that happened in the author's life. It was like peering into the window of someone whom you have never met, and getting a vivid image of what life was like for them. I would like to start writing articles about that - some windows into my life. Blogging like this is only so interesting. You don't really get a sense of the author and what they're like. Maybe I should write about my kindergarten years. That should be interesting.

Anyway, until next time.