11 March 2022

12:40pm - I saw a video on Instagram asking what is the reason that keeps me alive. And for the first time in a while, I realized I no longer have an answer.

12:50pm - This engineering maths assignment is hard. It's luckily not due until next week Wednesday, so I can ask for help. Trust mathematics to make you doubt your own intelligence, haha.

1:02pm - Wow, who knew rubbing some brain cells together and actually putting your mind to something actually helps you to understand things. Mindblowing.

1:08pm - I wish there was an option to mute the Zoom chat during meetings.

1:13pm - I may have to cancel my lunch date with O if my dad is still paranoid about this whole Covid thing. Fucking hell. Covidiots suck.
Yesterday, Y found out that I had a crush on him and he said that he didn't have the same feelings for me. At least he fucking said it unlike L. I was a little upset but not that much. I'm still willing to be friends with him.

1:19pm - things may be awkward between me and Y now. Don't know how to feel about that. Maybe it will end up with us never talking again. I haven't seen him in a while so who knows how that will go.

1:29pm - I don't know why I bother attending these lectures instead of watching a recording of them at a later point. My lecturers are so slow at teaching. Taking 10 minutes to explain a simple concept. Dear god.

1:41pm - Now he's explaining things very unclearly. Not fun.

1:43pm - Wow. After like 13 minutes of faffing around, NOW I understand the minute he pulls up some code. Fuck me.

1:52pm - "Every single lecturer in this university is exceptionally talented at going on tangents" - mimakrg 11th march 2022

1:58pm - At least the zoom chat is entertaining me. The lecturer is drawing something and we all add to guess what it was. Along with the huge amount of amongus jokes, someone in the chat said "Lana Rhoades".

3:05pm - Showered and had a quick nap. Debating whether I should even watch the lecture for engineering maths today. Oh well. Might as well.

3:19pm - mental health has taken a small downturn but I'll be fine.

3:25pm - how nice would it be to be held.

3:39pm - I need to finish reading Ted K's Unabomber manifesto. Surrogate activities really aren't fulfilling.

3:42pm - I have the weird urge to apologize. Not to anyone in particular, and not about anything in particular. I just want to say sorry.

5:20pm - been trying to wrangle some code for hours now. Pro-tip - look CLOSELY at the demos. Will save you a LOT of time.
My dad wants us all to be tech-free this weekend. I wouldn't have a problem if I had something to do other than sit on a computer for loads of time. I don't particularly want to interact with my parents either. They fucking suck. Man, I've really reached my teen rebellious phase at 18, huh.
This will probably be my last entry for the day. Had to cope somehow with a bad mental health day. Thought maybe this format would be interesting for a change. Have a good one.