"who's this?" you say to the british speaking voice.

"hello there," a young voice squeaks. "are you uncle james?"

"no. you have the wrong number."

"but i swear it's this. i pressed the buttons with my mum looking and everything."

"i've never heard of an uncle james."

"no, i want to talk to uncle james RIGHT NOW"

you hear a female voice calm the child down.

"look, just pretend youre uncle james and he'll calm down."

"wh- i don't need to do this."

"afterwards, i'll tell you everything. there's more to this than meets the eye."